Not that any of that's wrong I just.didn't think we could say it out loud without pissing off the weird cat people. and birds are so pointless, most of them can't even speak ( shows Sweetpea tweeting). Ozone: We're gonna cut you into string, ball you up, and then bat you around for hours!
Reginald: And I'm gonna have to ask you to get off my lawn. Oh my God, they're animals! Oh, right, they're animals.Įnjoy a movie about every kind of pet, with the balls to say that dogs are dumb and loyal while cats are total a-holes.Ĭhloe: I don't care about you or your problems. Snowball: You chose your side, and now you gonna burn.
Gidget: Don't look at him! ( slaps Ozone) Look at me! Nobody can help you! Watch the tiny comic shine as the equally tiny Snowball, a rabbit who spends ninety minutes yelling random Kevin Hart things ( Snowball: Woo! Aw, y'all cold-blooded!) while setting the tone for this movie's most defining feature: violence ( shows clips of characters committing violent acts), lots and lots of violence.
Get ready to say "Hey, I recognize that voice" followed by "Hey, why would they do this?", as Louis C.K., Hannibal Buress, and Jenny Slate sacrifice their indie cred to make poop jokes with Kevin Hart. But, hey, it'll make you feel like a kid again because you'll have no idea what's happening or why. Meet Katie, Max, Duke, Chloe, Sweetpea, Mel, Norman, Buddy, Tiberius, Snowball, Gidget, Ozone, Pops, and a dozen other characters who spread this thing so thin, you'll barely care about any of them, as a simple story about what pets do when they're alone takes a hard left into car chases, killer sewer animal cults, and psychedelic sausage factories.
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